The Valeyard: Lost souls Part 1
A tribute to: My Little Pony Friendship is Magic
Healing Pony POV Series by alexwarlorn
I am known as the Valeyard. I was what the Doctor was always destined to become. Compassion and pity were only weaknesses to me. Didn’t the Daleks teach me this very lesson by constantly trying to exploit the pity of anypony as soon as they had a disadvantage? Didn’t all the ever returning monsters teach me that there was no end to them until I made sure that they would never return? Didn’t companions have to leave me one way or the other, so it would be the best choice not to rely on them at all? Eventually these lessons would have regenerated the Doctor into me.
But the process was fastened considerable when Discord took the Doctor into his castle and killed him over and over again. I remember every single painful death and every single regeneration I had to experience this day. Eventually the Doctor was killed often enough to allow my personality to emerge. For over 900 years I existed alongside the Draconequus in the hell that is known as his kingdom of chaos. While I was one of the few who knew the truth behind its existence, I was admittedly not the most loyal servant of the childish god of chaos.
Maybe I was still sore about having memories from my earlier incarnation being the Queen of Eagleland thanks to Discord.
Or maybe it was this “getting killed over and over again” that left a slight grudge behind. Then again I knew somepony who is much less forgiving then I was.
But that is all in the past now. I was defeated, I was killed and I was sent to the true hell by the mare who I thought was a worthless brain-dead idiot.
Screams and whimpering could be heard around me. Countless souls cried how they didn’t deserve this and did nothing wrong. It creates a very unique chorus. But after piecing the facts about the Nightmare’s eternal puppet show together this hellish scenario was not that horrifying to me, not to mention all the things I remembered from my time as the Doctor. I wasn’t only mocking Twilight and Rarity when I told them how scary our reality was. Yet admittedly insulting them made up about 80 % of everything I said to them.
Many souls just had given hope up completely and laid motionless on the ground, awaiting the next chariot ride. I sat down near the now motionless dragon the small group used as an improvised poker table.
Lord Havok didn’t let the souls constantly drag his giant and excruciatingly heavy chariot around, there were a few breaks between his tours maybe so that the trapped soul could wallow in self-pity and despair. Or maybe he does it to allow this incredible dirty and constantly bleeding male Alicorn to drag his massive chariot all by himself? Seriously this Alicorn looks dirtier then Rarigreed on a bad day. But often the worst pain a soul can experience her comes from another damned soul.
“So who is the newcomer?” the overweight pegasus with the bored expression asked me.
“I think I have seen somepony familiar to you in Canterlot back then…” the green stallion with the cutie mark of the swinging pocket watch added as the only female of the group – a grey pegasus - remained silent.
“Allow me to introduce myself. I am called the Valeyard.” I said with a polite bow.
Predictable both stallions chuckled about my name (the green stallion was a lot stealthier about it) as the mare suddenly focused on me. The noise is hardly noticeable with all the screams and laments in the background.
“YOU! You were the one who was together with Ditzy!” the mare said. She looked almost exactly like the wall-eyed pegasus I knew.
“I certainly remember her very well. She killed me in the end, you raised her well… what was your name again? Dancing Hooves?”
As the mother looked like she had eaten a Parasprite, the other two became more curious.
“Now it is my turn: I am Film Critique, once a creative user of a shard of the rainbow of light and benevolent ruler of a city.”
“And I am Pocket Watch, renown doll maker at your service. How was hell for you when you got here? It is not easy to find something to take your attention of all of this.” the green pony said pointing at the group of unicorns crying in agony and screaming that the superior race doesn’t deserve this.
“Well I REALLY didn’t want to die, so the Thestral who brought me here took quite a beating and then…”
To my surprise I still had the appearance of a unicorn after my death. I guess my soul decided to pick the last form I had before Ditzy killed me.
The most infuriating aspect of my death was without any doubt that I sensed the Doctor returning as the regeneration took place. So much for the brilliant contingency plan I had for him. While I was taken down my mere pawns, the fool who wasted his talents returned. While I ended up in hell, he can enjoy another life. AND HOW COULD THE LITTLE IDIOT THAT ONLY SPREAD HOPE AND PLAYED COMIC RELIEF ALL DAY STUN ME LONG ENOUGH FOR DITZY TO KILL ME???
I stood before the most magnificent being I had ever seen. It was like somepony had taken every single fear in existence and created a wonderful puzzle picture out of them. It was almost impossible to make out the details without falling into madness. A terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos, it was fear itself.
I could hardly think clear before the giant that didn’t even seem to acknowledge my existence. It was like looking into the gap in the fabric of space and time better known as the Untempered Schism. This really brought memories of seeing the entire time vortex back and every single second the titan made me feel small and insignificant.
It was so unbelievable cold here and it wasn’t even that the temperature was low. My breath wasn’t visible but I sensed that there was something missing here, something that was everywhere in all the worlds I had visited. Something that I had always taken for granted but now I felt like it was gone.
Then the giant spoke.
“Another Delusional Murderer Who Thinks He Is Above The Elders. I Could Build Entire Planets If I Put The Souls Of The Likes Of You Together. You Are Directly Responsible For The Extinction Of Several Lifeforms, Broke The Minds Of Countless Rebels, Almost Tortured The Last Group Of Rebels To Death, Tortured The Master To Death, Supported A State Of Misery And Suffering And Stole Several Pears.”
It was unnerving. It was like his voice came from every possible direction and echoed within my mind like it was a thought of mine. I had experienced enough horrifying events in my long life to break the minds of two hundred completely sane and intelligent beings but now only my overwhelming fear stopped me from running away screaming.
“But At The Same Time You Were Born With A Birth Defect And Your Former Incarnations Still Echo Within You.”
A birth defect? Now that must be a mistake. Heh Heh… I came into existence when the Doctor realised that his way was a dead end. After hundreds of years nothing had changed. The very same monsters that had plagued the world when I began my travels were still there. Daleks and Cyberponies were as active as ever and new threats like weeping angels continued to show their ugly faces. It was a never-ending pointless struggle. Planets like earth weren’t safe for five years no matter what I did.
Discord was nothing more then the ultimate proof for the Doctor that if evil is allowed to exist, it will eventually win. It is as simple as that. And no matter what the Doctor did, others died around him. The Draconequus was merely a wake up call, eventually a group of weeping angels or maybe the Daleks would have unlocked my awakened self anyway. The Doctor realised that he had to abandon all his former weaknesses to truly get rid of the evils that plagued the universe. That was the moment of my birth.
“I Heard Your Rant About Villains Not Playing By The Rules 325,285,347 Times, Your Claim About Perfection 186,032 times, Your Speech About Life 432,874,222 times, Your Declaration Of Controlling The Universe 987,873,365,321 Times But Your Final Speech Was Something New For Once.”
Where were all my snappy retorts now as I was standing before this eternal being? My mind was a mess and fractions of my final battle continued to interrupt my train of thoughts. I remembered briefly what Rancor said about her family.
“Y-You must be pa-part of Rancor’s fam-family. Oh! She w-wanted me to say “Hi” for her when I me-meet you.”
“Such A Sweet Child. I Am Sure That She Will Succeed In Stabbing Her Own Brother In The Back. Pandora, You Will Handle The Rest With This One.”
Another female Draconequus (seriously how many are there?) arrived to pick me up like a bag and teleported to another part of hell. This place looked like a small almost claustrophobic cave. Several tunnels can be seen leading into every possible direction but there are strange and twisted shadows on the walls themselves. Then she just dropped me like a sack of potatoes. Overall this was only slightly less dignified then being around Discord.
“So listen Vally, you already know why you are here, so let us skip to the interesting stuff. I don’t want to miss little sis’s big moment. Father is hell itself but he likes to leave the more mundane tasks to the souls themselves. In a few moments a soul from the other side will arrive here to try to reach a lost child of hers.”
“And my role is to stop her?” Now this actually sounds like the good old times again and there is no Nightmare Psychosis around to make it backfire on me again.
“No, you get to be her guide. Here are the rules.”
Pandora smiled as a book the size of my head crashed down before me.
“Time flows differently here, once you have read it, she will arrive. Take your time.”
Just like that she was gone, likely cheering on Rancor for her next insultingly obvious move. Seriously, if Discord doesn’t see this coming a mile away then he deserves whatever this spear will do to him.
The book is actually an entertaining read. The best since this Daring Doo book about the Crystal Skull. Time machines can be very useful to pick up a good book if all current versions of it were destroyed.
Basically the rules themselves were relatively simple, especially compared to the rules of time and space. After a few rather violent and destructive attempts of souls to rescue their loved ones from hell, both sides agreed to turn it into a challenge instead of a war.
According to the book Lord Havoc (so that was his name) would place three obstacles in the way of the soul and give it a guide who would suffer with the deluded soul who wanted to save somepony else. So if I would accidently push whoever is stupid enough to actually come here on her own free will into lava then I would burn as well. That part of the book was very explicitly illustrated. According to the book the pain in these trails is exactly as painful as if the being would still be alive.
Great, I went through such lengths to finally get rid of these clingy companions and this is it all over again. Somehow I have the feeling that this is just some entertainment for Lord Havoc. But in the end my job was it to bring the moronic soul to her target and whatever happened NEXT didn’t matter. I could basically laugh in her face when this naïve idea backfires on her. If the world ruled by the Nightmare taught me one thing, then that all happy endings were illusions.
There was also a small note hurriedly written into the book itself: “The foal will only recognise what he loves the most.”
And as long as I was able to get the soul to her destination I would get to decide where in hell I would stay afterwards. I could try to find a place where there are no other souls to bother me. Not that I think that there exists any place here that isn’t a constant torture one way or another.
Now that all sounds strangely… fair, almost like it is actually doable. It is downright alien to think like this after being used to the unwinnable games of the kingdom of chaos. Both Discord and Nightmare Psychosis cheat like… I looked around myself. The shadows seemed to have moved closer but where still trapped onto the walls.
Where was this lazy soul anyway? I would have preferred her to arrive before I get eaten or something. I always hated it if I am thrown unprepared into a new situa-
Then somepony crashed down on me upside down. I could only see pink. NO! NO! OH NO! NOT HER!
I quickly pulled myself together again. I will NOT allow her to see me in panic.
“Finally somepony says my name correctly, points for that Pinkie Pie. Unfortunately I am out of gummy ursas. So you are visiting us here in this lovely place to find a poor lost soul? Are you not worried that somepony will realise that this is where you truly belong?”
The pink moron huffed as she got her pink mane out of my face. But she didn’t seem angry at all. It was hard to believe that this was the same Angry Pie that had punched me into the castle walls about forty times for the most minor reasons.
“I can’t believe that you of all ponies have to be my guide to Little Hex.”
Right, Pandora had mentioned that it was about one of her children. Little Hex… ah I remember, that was the one who fought alongside her in the war against Grogar’s forces.
“And I can’t believe heaven actually lets mass murders like you inside. The bar is set really low. But for Little Hex’s soul the decision was already made. Or do you think you are smarter then the gods themselves?”
To my surprise she still doesn’t become enraged but counters.
“Nah, seeing yourself smarter then the Elders was your part. But why did you just call me Pinkie Pie?”
“Because I know perfectly well how annoying it can become if somepony keeps getting your name wrong.” I spat back like poison, the longer this continues the angrier I get.
We both glared at each other and signed.
“Okay, listen Valeyard, I don’t like you and you don’t like anypony. But I was told by Mortis that my guide would share my pain alongside this journey. We just finish this and then we never have to see each other again. Pinkamena Promise?”
I had to role my eyes at her poor choice of words. Then again she didn’t look like she trusted me at all, so she might not be quite as stupid as her moronic friends. I begin to talk in complete deadpan.
"Cross my hearts and hope to... are you kidding me? The only thing I will promise you is that I will make sure that you will not hurt me."
"Well at least you didn't poke your eye out like a few other ponies I know..."
Deep breaths, take deep breaths. I can do it. I can do it. I will not push her into the next obstacle. I can do it.
The environment around us shifted and changed and suddenly we were standing on a stone bridge right over an active lava flow. Now they are just tempting me to throw her inside. I would like to point out that while we didn’t burn to a crisp instantly, it was quite painful to stand here. About one mile ahead of us I could see a portal, surely our goal.
Besides the infernal pain we could see that the lava flow was not empty. Other souls were swimming inside. Well, swimming might be the wrong term. It was more like desperately struggling to not drown in the mass completely as the lava burned their souls. Their screams echoed through around the seemingly endless lava field.
But the bigger problems were the decorations left and right of our path: They were statues of pegasi in tunica holding their hooves before their faces like they were crying, I knew them better as weeping angels. Hundreds of them stood alongside our way.
“Don’t blink, don’t even think about blinking.” I said as quickly as possible. Hah, I hardly have to worry about her thinking at all.
“Why? Do you want to try a staring contest?”
“To quote myself from the past: In the sight of any living thing they literally turn to stone. And you can't kill a stone. 'Course, a stone can't kill you either, but then you turn your head away or you blink, and oh, yes it can!“
“So we walk back to back the entire time, keep starring at them and move as fast as possible?”
There were a million better ideas but unfortunately they all required items and preparations that I simply had no access to anymore.
“Normally I would have prepared a far better plan but after your friends broke my sonic screwdrivers and the TARDIS is now together with the next incarnation my resources are limited. If you can somehow get two of them to look at each other, then do it. That can stop them as well.”
I doubted that she would ever be able to use her limited brain to outsmart weeping angels but at least she was quite fast. I wondered if her insane speed was a match for a weeping angel.
Slowly we walked forward back to back. I really didn’t want to find out what the angels considered to be funny this time. Maybe they would break our necks or force us to count to our death? Ironically being ponies gives us a wider field of vision which in turn allowed us to keep more of them in check at once.
“I never thought that the experience from my staring contests with Gummy would ever become useful for fighting against monsters.” The pink moron talked to herself.
But I have to admit that she is not half bad in keeping up with my pace, must be this strange Pinkie Pie Sense. The lava occasionally erupted next to the bridge but it was far enough to be as safe as lava can ever be.
“So did the Doctor defeat these statues before?”
Her voice sounded nervous. The weeping angels usually have this effect on everypony.
“I and my earlier regenerations had met them a few times. You really don’t want to find out what they do to you if they get you. Not that your tiny mind would even be able to comprehend what they actually do. I thought I had killed the last ones 500 years ago but then again we are in hell. So I guess that my plan worked perfectly.”
“I am not in the mood to congratulate you…”
We continued our way over the stone bridge and the pink moron thankfully didn’t burst into song or anything silly like that. But as we were about halfway across the construction the pony asked me a question.
“You know what is strange? I can see most of the bridge but why aren’t the angels on the very edge moving at all? Do you see them? That part is out of my field of vision.”
As I tried to move my head so that I could take a look at our starting point I could see that the angels there had started to move. Now they were showing their face and sharp teeth while standing perfectly still.
On the other side it was the same. Both possible exits were blocked. These things had gotten smarter. It was not like I did a miscalculation; it was all the fault of… Meh, I will blame her later.
We both tried to move our heads so that we could see both sides, which only led to the angels moving between the intervals when we couldn’t look at all of them. They got closer and closer from both sides.
Thankfully they were now close enough so that we could look at all of them. But eventually we would have to blink. It was only a matter of time for them to get us. We were surrounded.
“Why is one of them pointing at us?”
Why did she have to keep asking these questions?
Suddenly the ground under us erupted and hot steam rose from the ground, blinding me. I could hear the angels moving towards us.
The pink annoyance alone could never keep them all in check at the same time. Now this will get very painful.
Then I felt her grabbing me and… and… no pain?
“Are you okay?”
Now this was easily one of the most frustrating moments in my entire long life. I still couldn’t see anything and I could feel her pushing me forwards. Somehow she had saved our… lives… souls… wibbly wobbly timey wimey soul stuff.
And I had no idea how she had done it! It was incredible frustrating!!!
“How? How did you do it?”
“Oh. Curious? I improvised. I knew that looking at them makes them stop moving so I tried to get them all to look at each other. I closed my eyes, they rushed in and in the very last moment I used my speed to get us out of there.”
This was just wonderful. I had been saved from my old enemies by a pink pony. Thankfully nopony had seen this. How can she dare to… save me..?
I knew that she was a good runner but I had no idea that she was this fast. Evading so many weeping angels was quite an accomplishment. Not too shabby for a pink pony.
“I don’t get it!” the fat pegasus interrupted my story.
“What the concept of the weeping angels? That is easy to explain, they are actually…”
“Who cares about them? Why did nopony ever come to free me? I have been struck here since forever and I have done nothing wrong!!!”
“Really? The mares with the sharp swords thought otherwise.” Mrs. Hooves remarks dryly.
“So what? I had simply done what everypony else in my situation had done as well. I had gotten power and used it to make my dreams come true. And the mares were happy while it happened! That simply can’t be wrong. And once they got their minds back and had power over me, they killed me. So who is the real villain?”
We all stared at him. I think we all had a strange mixture of pity and disgust in our faces.
The pegasus stood up and walked away in a huff. Hands made out of fire rose from the ground and grabbed after him as he ran away as fast as possible, which wasn’t that fast. Well, one less pony listening to the story. And it seems that none of them had figured out why I am telling all of this so far. Good, very good.
I still couldn’t see anything as the pink pony led me through the darkness. Of course I had learned in the long time I lived in the kingdom of chaos to cast all kinds of magic, including healing magic. I knew that I would eventually be able to use it on myself but admittedly I never would have guessed that I would find a use for healing magic AFTER my death. Slowly it did improve my sight again. According to my calculations I should be able to see perfectly in 2 minutes. Maybe I should have practised healing magic more often to speed it up?
Distant screams could be heard echoing through the entire place.
“Don’t stay here!”
“No, let me gAAHHH!”
The last one was way too close for my taste.
“Well, I think we had a minor mixup in the roles. I am supposed to be your guide, not the other way around. What does the next obstacle look like?” I asked slightly annoyed.
“We seem to be in an old abandoned factory. There is dust, dirt and several broken machines. Is it something from your past as well?”
I hate knowing so little about what is going on. How can I prepare myself for the inevitable attack? I can’t rely on others to cover my back. Just because she was able to do it once didn’t mean that I could trust her in any form to actually be useful… moving on.
“I can’t remember fighting sentient factories. I am more worried about what else might be inside. I had met quite a few beings who loved to hide in the dark. Did anything interesting happen after my death?”
“Well, so far my friends were able to heal me, got past Discord’s last minions, defeated Fluttercruel multiple times, even as a Draconequus, Rancor stabbed Discord with her spear and became an adult concept, Fluttershy was able to finally reach the spirit of her daughter, Celestia and Luna were freed but are now the cutest Alicorn fillies ever, Rainbow Dash recovered her own soul and returned to our side, Rarity took in all the Elements of Chaos, Minty has her own awesome adventure but most of it is off screen and well I died somewhere in between. Now they are ready for the encounter with the weakened Discord but Fluttershy told me what was really behind everything.”
I learned in this moment that even as a soul a brain could break down completely. The entire idea of Fluttercruel together with her mother in a relationship without torture was downright alien.
“But that is just the abridged version, I could tell you more if…”
“It is more then enough! Really! There is no reason for more details!”
Now I felt like my companions must have felt when the Doctor explained to them how the rules of time and space worked or what was trying to destroy an entire planet this week.
“Wait there is some water there. I think I can get…”
Suddenly everything was silent and I couldn’t hear her hooves trotting anymore.
No answer. Okay, this was bad. Think! What could it be? The last obstacle was from my past but if I would create an obstacle course like this, I would throw an unexpected curveball about…
I nearly had two heart attacks at once as I heard the pink pony laughing behind me.
“Did I get you? You are such a scary cat.”
“That was NOT funny.”
“The next one will be funnier, now come here. I have found some water for you.”
She pushed me towards a direction and I still had no idea where we were going. But I had a suspicion about my companion.
“So how will you try to save Fuse Box? Remind the little one of all the good time you had?” I asked as normal as possible.
“Hah, once I give him my comedy routine, he will remember me and come back to where he belongs.”
Let us count the facts: The voice sounds exactly like her but it was definitely not Pinkie Pie. She would never make the obvious mistake of confusing one of her foals with another.
Next fact: Since whoever this is had no idea who the pink pony wanted to save, it likely isn’t Pinkie being possessed by something. This means I could hurt the newcomer, now this was more like it.
Finally I just needed to calm down and think how I could turn this game around.
Carefully I used telekinesis to move the dust on the ground once we were far enough away so she won’t see what I was doing behind her back. I left a nice trail that the real Pinkie Pie would hopefully be able to follow.
I knew that the longer I followed the imposter, the closer I got to my demise/pain/fate worse then death/I don’t even want to know. But she didn’t know that my eyes were finally healed by now.
I could open them any time. I just needed a good opportunity. So I faked loosing orientation and walked into something. With my back turned to her I quickly opened my eyes and realised that I was in some kind of cellar, a torture cellar to be precise.
Several blood covered utensils were lying around and in the center of the room was an operation table. I had just bumped into it. The rest of the room was decorated with blood, bones and body parts like they were balloons and steamers. A few balloons without air were on the ground as well. A single light bulb swinging left and right illuminated the entire room.
Another portal was also placed in this room. That did surprise me enough to stand still and unfortunately she noticed my lack of movement.
“Ohhhh… You ruined the surprise, you big meanie-pants.”
Since she already knew it, there was no need to hide it anymore. As I turned around I saw somepony who looked just like Pinkie Pie but this one had a demented expression and apparently wore one of Fluttercruel’s dresses. I didn’t even recognise the horns, wings and cutie marks that were used to create this dress. Maybe she is from an alternate timeline or a shapeshifter or… for now it really doesn’t matter who or what she is.
“Let me guess… you want to turn me into cupcakes?”
I remembered that Fluttercruel appeared once at a costume ball not only in one of her dresses but also with some illusionary magic on her to make her look like Pinkie Pie and a diner tray with several cupcakes. Angry Pie didn’t like that at all and if I remember it correctly she had broken Fluttercruel’s neck four times before Discord randomly changed every single costume in the room.
“Well both of your numbers came up so I am obliged by contract to have a big show-me-what-you-have-inside party with you.” She said cheerfully like it was just a big party.
I took a look at the collection of cutting tools behind her. There were a few not even Fluttercruel did own.
If she was anything like the Pinkie Pie I knew, then I had no chance against her in direct and fair combat. But when did I ever fight fair?
“And I can guarantee you, that you will be surprised what you find inside me. But would you mind answering one question first? After all I know your greatest fan and she would love to learn about your recipe.”
Cheerfully the pony smiled at me as the door closed itself.
“Sure, I would never let a fan down. The trick of getting these special cupcakes to taste just like ordinary ones is…”
Meanwhile Pinkie Pie searched the factory frantically.
Before her very eyes a wall of darkness crashed down between them and now she had no idea where the Time Lord could be. But there was a trail of dust on the ground and occasionally some words were written in it like “follow this”, “be careful, somebody else is here” and “hurry up, you moron.”
It was definitely the Valeyard who left this message behind.
The earth pony knew very well that she had to hurry. After he was gone the entire factory suddenly looked a lot more hostile and it was like it was falling apart around her. Walls began to twist and change, spikes erupted from places that were once safe and it was almost like this entire place was a living being that hated her.
“… and that is how you make these extra-special wonderful cupcakes. Now I will give you an example” The lunatic before me explained with a wide smile as she moved closer. I wanted to never hear the word cupcake ever again.
It seemed that I can not stall her any longer. But in the time she gave me her recipe I studied the details of this room and I could use them to turn this game around. It has been a while since I had to make up a plan on the fly.
“That was most enlightening. I am sure that your young fan will be absolutely delighted to learn about that. Now if you…”
My telekinesis picked up the sharpest looking tool from the table behind her. My mind was racing as I calculated every detail. Just slamming multiple tools into her would be more surprising but I needed to make one focused cut. I couldn’t control an infinite number of objects at the same time. And I needed something to protect me so I also used my telekinesis to loosen the table I was standing next to. With my preparations complete I begin to laugh in her face.
While she was still walking forward and now focused on my laughter the tool cut her left hind leg. Her demented and somewhat forced smile vanished instantly.
She screamed in anger and jumped at me. I let all feelings and distractions inside me die as I concentrated only my opponent. It was almost like time itself slowed down. I caught her in a telekinetic hold but it barely slowed her down. Yet the mad pony is so concentrated on my laughter that she got reckless and ignored important variables. Unlike me, she didn’t see what would happen next.
Her right foreleg was about to slam into my face as I used the table that was supposed to hold me as a shield. While it protected me from the first attack I knew that her momentum would keep her going. So I used my telekinesis to turn the table around as quickly as possible.
This time her other leg slammed painfully into the mechanical parts of the downside of the table. I continued to laugh. This did frustrate her enough to change her tactics. She jumped back a bit and then charged forward with her full force. The mad pony sacrificed precision to put more power into the attack. I dropped the table before me and began to concentrate on the light bulb and the remaining instruments around the room.
Blocking this strike was impossible at this point but she could also hardly stop her own momentum now. As I blew up the light bulb above us and teleported the tools to their destination there was hardly any time left to jump out of the way.
I couldn’t see the result in the following darkness but the crash and the growl of pain confirmed my prediction. As I activated a simple light spell I could see that the pony did crash right into the table with all of her sharp tools imbedded into it. She was impaled in multiple locations but still seemed alive, which didn’t surprise me at all since we were already in hell. This couldn’t kill her anymore but it surely hurt her.
Quickly I close the shackles on the bed and strapped her to the very table she wanted to torture me on. She looked at me in confusion.
“Argh… Who are you?”
“I am the Valeyard. For countless lifetimes I have learned from the greatest monsters in existence how to cause pain and misery for my own goals. What do you think I will do to you now?”
For the first time I could see fear in the eyes of the maniac before me. Good. One thing I did learn from Twilight’s rebel group: Defeat your enemy first and gloat later.
“But it is your lucky day. I don’t have time for this and the last time it wasn’t really as much fun as I hoped it to be. I was much happier when the Master finally died.”
Then the door behind me exploded and Pinkie Pie jumped through it. I was sure that this scene would end in some annoying misunderstanding.
“It is not what it is looking like.” I said quickly.
Out of nowhere she pulled out a giant steam-powered sledgehammer whose end was twice the size of her head and slammed it down on… the lunatic that had somehow broken free of half of her shackles and was about to hit me from behind. The maniac fell back onto the table and looked like she would not awaken for quite some time.
“You weren’t attacked by an evil version of me and managed to trick and defeat her?”
“Wait, it is exactly what it looks like!”
I had to smile. And it wasn’t even one of my sadistic smiles.
"Everybody lives, Rose! Just this once, EVERYBODY LIVES!"
Now the unpleasant memory had to ruin my perfectly happy mood. My smile vanished. Then I noticed that the space behind the door Pinkie had just blown up began to twist and change. I didn’t like the look of the sharp spikes getting closer and closer.
“Let us just move on.”
Wordlessly we hurried through the portal and left the now forcefully sleeping lunatic behind.
“Wait! There he is!” Pocket Watch interrupted my story, having just spotted another stallion. I had no idea who that was.
“You! You kidnapped and hurt those innocent foals! You are GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!”
He charged after the other stallion who ran away in terror. Some souls didn’t even need hell to do anything to hurt them, they just kept hurting each other. Mrs. Hooves looked sadly after him.
“So obsessed with the guilt of others that he had forgotten what he himself had done to little foals… what I had done… Please continue.”
Her look became almost pleading, now she is my one remaining audience member.
“Well, the final obstacle was different…”